Helloooo, I’m still alive! But I have a good excuse for my prolonged absence from blogging. Every year of my life I’ve been at home for Christmas and the result of this is a kind of time-warp, and regression for all. Mum reverts to the ultimate provider, with an added festive fervour (she assumes what we have labelled her ‘Christmas voice’, which has a distinctive steely edge that you wouldn’t want to mess with), dad goes on lots of dog walks and pub trips, muttering to himself about ‘women’ in a way that is directly reminiscent of my youth, and my three sisters and I travel back in time and grind to a halt in a child-like state of lethargy and inanity.
Every year I head home armed with a lengthy to do list and full of proactive intentions to make the most of the time off. However, the unfailing reality is visualising the to do list with listless resentment from my prone stance on the sofa, whilst feeling the weight of mince pies pressing on my belly and the weight of the next imminent feast pressing on my mind.
This year was worse than ever. Perhaps in rebellion against the huge changes in my life this year, whereby I attempt to become part-time self-employed, my regression to sedentary status entered new depths. I kept thinking of all the things I needed to do, such as register as self-employed, advertise my yoga classes, set-up accounts spreadsheets, sort out my website, get a new phone contract etc, and then felt completely overwhelmed to the point where the only action I could take was to reach for the omnipresent Terry’s chocolate-orange. It seemed that the alien newness of my plans for next year juxtaposed with the intense familiarity of christmas at home created a paralysis of thought and action.
But, in the spirit of positive thinking, I have chosen not to beat myself up about my lack of action. We all need a rest sometimes, and the family home seems to be the one place where I find lounging around on the sofa in pyjamas all day an acceptable activity. Plus, as an adult, the magic of christmas seems to increasingly be found in spending time with those you love rather than in an orgy of present-opening, and so prioritising time spent chatting with my sisters seemed a valuable ‘action’ in itself, even (or especially?) when our conversations strayed back to the puerile silliness of our teens (for example, continuing to call our parents ‘Moomin’ and ‘Dudley Mallit’ for unremembered, yet still hilarious reasons).
Anyway, I am back in the land of the living now, and excited about 2013. Proactivity has returned, and my to do list is quivering in awe at my fearsome activity levels. And now I can wipe another thing off the list: Blog DONE!
Happy new year, everyone. May all your intentions and wishes come to fruition… 🙂