I wrote the following post a few days ago from my temporary Austrian abode, but then the wifi broke so I wasn’t able to upload it. It has been a refreshing week of no internet access – being disconnected has meant fewer distractions and more time to think and rest my brain. However, now reconnected whilst awaiting a delayed flight at Innsbruck airport, here it is:
This post is brought to you from the snowy peaks of the Austrian Alps. As I type this I can see yet more crystal flakes falling from the white, silent sky, ready to soften my falls later on.
In a bout of spontaneous financial irresponsibility, I agreed to come snowboarding with a friend and a group of his friends late last year. As the departure day loomed I panicked at the monetary implications and ill-timing (teaching yoga with a broken leg could be interesting…) and attempted to find someone to replace me on the trip. Luckily no one was forthcoming, and so I find myself breathing crisp, clear air in this beautiful mountain environment, flying down slopes feeling the joyous jolt of adrenaline, drinking in eyeball-popping vistas and delectable Austrian lagers, and coming in from the cold to freshly baked cake and a sauna each day. Things turned out good…
It has been a good lesson in accepting decisions that I’ve made and making the most of them. I am naturally a terrible decision-maker, for which I blame the curse of the over-empathiser and my over-active brain, which rattles headlong into futuristic imaginings of the outfall of each permutation of all the different choices that I have. It’s exhausting, I tell you. So, when I finally settle on a decision, I struggle to just sit back and accept my choice. All those other options still jostle for my attention in the back of my mind, like the irritating whine of a mosquito. Still, I’m getting better at accepting that whatever decision I make is the right one, and it’s how I deal with the outfall that defines me. Being a sucker for inspirational/motivational truisms, I’ve found one that has massively helped, which I took from the Susan Jeffers Feel the Fear book:
‘Everything is happening perfectly.’
This innocuous phrase is currently pinned to my monitor at work, and runs through my head whenever I struggle to make a decision. It reminds me that it probably doesn’t matter half as much as I think it will what decision I make. Whatever happens, the world will not end, and I will be able to handle the outfall, and turn it to a positive by my attitude.
So, in this case, in an initial flurried panic, where I regressed to my default stressed-out over-analysis of what the ‘correct’ decision was, I eventually accepted that my decision to come boarding was the correct one. Suddenly life seemed much simpler, and my brain breathed a grateful sigh of relief and relaxed.
With that in mind, I shall cease this writing and head off for the slopes, to point my board down a steep slope and let go, in all senses of the phrase.
Me and my beautiful bamboo ‘Arbor’ rental board that I totally fell in love with. Went to try and find it in the shops afterwards: £400! Hmmm, maybe not. Really bonded with it though… 🙂